I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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