i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
