is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize