Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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