Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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