I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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