Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
