Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
