So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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