hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
