idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
