he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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