6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
