She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My ATM looks so different sober.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
