Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize