just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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