break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
