i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
