Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
