oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
