When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
