Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We talked him into tasing himself.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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