and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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