my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize