Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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