i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
