I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I smell stomach acid.
it was like eating out sand paper
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
