I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize