I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize