my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize