my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish my penis had a tongue
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
