she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
