dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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