dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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