He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
