is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
