i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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