so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
