mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The air was thick with penises
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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