What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
