I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
