My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
