Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
