I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
