The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
