Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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