so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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