New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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