if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
