No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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