Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
