Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
