Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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