Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
