we're blogging at a bar
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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