After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
