I'm gonna have a badass scar
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
