Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
