My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
