New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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