why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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