I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
