it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
