I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
