Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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