Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
