Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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