im six kinds of drunk right now
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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