I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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