Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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