college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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