So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mom said you looked used
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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