I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
