I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
