You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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