you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
