So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
